Come Home Mikan
August 4, 2009I walk alone down these streets
No end in sight yet walking
Down these passages I roam
Freely as I may but broken within
Someone is lost
Can you help me find him?
My friend Mikan is gone
Now I am alone
We used to walk and walk
Talk out endlessly
Everywhere I went Mikan followed
And he was there for all to see
But one day the breeze died out
And Mikan too was gone
I’ve walked along these streets
A cracked shell with feet
Enduring the bitterness of lone
And the smite of death
Mikan, Mikan my friend where are you?
Put yourself on to me and let us go
For a walk or run or fly with me
Just come back to me my friend come back
The breeze is blowing far away
And yet I stand here
All alone, no breeze and no Mikan
Please come home to me my dear friend
A lost soul and shattered realities
All that I take in for my day
But Mikan is gone from me
Lonely shalt I be?
Mikan if you’re there say so
Come home with a rainbow in hand
Now I must continue searching
If you see my friend tell him I’m waiting
Underneath the old place we both know
Beneath the pale light of the night sky
My Mother’s Gift In The Gallows
This gift across the sea I use
Brings me the ether I need
To continue this existence
But the gift of my mother
Who breathed me life and yours
Chained in the dark confines
The castle of darkness
Where ether abounds in the creeks
I summon with another tongue
And as my mother’s gift
Weeps in the gallows
To my bottle flows my ether
But in this heart oh yes I hear
The voice of my mother who calls
A plea for a moment’s freedom
Yet the dark knights prowl
The dreaded streets of night
And in the shadows we escape
To those who feel by the sword
A slip and the horseman swings
Bloodied ground too many to count
And yet we revel in the danger
For the love of our mother’s gift
That which the knights dare to smite
But can a sword slash our hearts
And break through the gift of ours
This I ask and still I wonder
What is there to fear?
The wonderful gift that we have
To cherish and show the world
But in pursuit of the ether
We take the gift from across the sea
Oh but an endless irony
This gift of theirs filled with awe
Beautiful and elegant and yet
Possesses not an ounce of eros
My mother’s tongue oh I to you I turn
To give life to my words and fill ears
With the wonders of your love
Harmony is real yet the darkness refutes
And the horsemen roam to sow fear
Into the hearts of those who live in dark
Yet I tell you oh dark knight
About my gift which I hold dear
That which you endlessly smite
This heart you cannot slash
This heart is my gift and my life
This life that we lead
Stronger than your steel
Sharper than your sword
And in eternity it must go
**from May 16, 2008**
Ode To Silent Pain
Those kept from all.
Hidden from these silent eyes.
Thirsty for truth.
A relentless search.
Boundless curiosity.
Can it kill?
These silent eyes know.
The wounded heart feels.
Shattered glass on the floor.
Shards on bloody hands bid not.
Strong of heart and mind.
Cotton to your touch.
How long hath it last?
Endurance of those.
Eros’ touch and Venus’ smile.
Destroyed the resistance.
An endless waltz.
Isolation brings joy.
To the silent one.
The calm and meek.
Longs for freedom.
A dream is it all?
Illusion to the eyes.
Deceit to the heart.
Falling grains of time.
Awake oh silent one.
**repost**
**from Feb 2008**
Dark Cloud
How can you do this?
Gypsy maiden why I ask
Secrets for so long kept
Has been made known
To you in complete trust
Secrets and thoughts
Only to you has light been shed
Yet you spill them all
Sand from a broken hourglass
Flows thoughtlessly out
And to my fickle foe hast
Ye made them known
No matter not even love
Should be invoked to spill
This mind so dear to you
In the distant past
I uttered to the maiden
My intentions to repel the
The prince’s unrelenting attack
His day was to come I say
Time has passed since
And advice from the seer
That I have sought
Dispel the hatred
And that I have done
But the maiden hath
Given away my intents
Prince heard with all ears
His forces gathered he had
And cried out for blood
Cruel maiden so pure
Twisted emotions grabbed you
Changed your heart
Forbidden to glimpse reality
A falsified fantasy you dwell
In my eyes I see it so
Differently your heart must say
I no longer possess knowledge
Of your intentions twisted are they?
Towards my hapless self
Now chaos has begun
And you leave my side
He hast waged war on me
Yet I harbor no hostility
Not now in this moment
Erred I truly have
And for that I seek pardon
But you shove my words
Into the nothingness beyond
And repeat your hostile intent
I foresee an imbalance
My capacity to wage war
Diminished by the passage
Of the grains inside the glass
Only a distant memory remains
The prince possesses
Power much greater
Than I currently muster
Youth has he
And time have I
I see the clouds of war
Swirling in the distance
A battle might soon come
Fighting I have no intention
But it might then be inevitable
Farewell I bid you
Maiden so fond I have been
The day must give in to night
And bliss to sorrow
The pleasure is mine to keep
**from Dec 2006**
Silumin Boxes And Crescent Suns
July 22, 2009
Yesterday morning, I woke up with what appeared to be a ruckus at home. My phone was ringing endlessly, both dogs were barking, and there was an incessant ringing by the doorbell. I was sleeping, which is pretty usual for me to do after the morning shift.
And then you get roused from unconsciousness, how’d you feel?
I wasn’t happy that’s for sure.
But then I reached out to cancel the call - turns out it was my father. Bah. I got up to get the dogs to stop. Chance, upon seeing me, stopped barking and was looking at the gate. There was some dude there standing.
GREAT! I finally found someone I can smash for the crime of waking me up. As I was about to open the door, and serve my brand of justice, Det [our help] asked me…
“Kuya, sino si Rolando Baluyot?”
(“Who’s Rolando Baluyot?)
“Si tatay yun.”
(“It’s father.”)
I swung the gate, and there was this dude from a courier service. With a motorcycle that looked like it outran the cops on the way here. With a box.
A box.
Then it dawned to me.
Lightning strike me dead. Gwandong… Hue Plus Dental Clinic… KR.. Kim Mi Hee…
The sky opened up, and a double rainbow appeared.
It’s here.
Nina’s package has arrived!
I was suddenly ready to think in a logical manner. I took the box, signed the paper and sent the man off. Then my father came in after the man left. I asked for box cutters. He gave me one. Two minutes was spent struggling to slice the tapes. He unpacked a new one. I almost drove the cutter through the box, then I regained composure to take extra care lest I hit the contents. I dissected the top of the box, and dug through many layers of bubble-wrap. I popped a few instinctively, then I got back to digging. I got the largest part. Tape again. Hrrrrr. I sliced and sliced like a man possessed. Then I was able to free the contents.
At last! I’m holding Nina’s Nikon FM2.
Why do I have it anywho? I don’t really know about her, but suddenly she just wrote me one day that she found her SLR, and that she thought I could have it. She reasoned that she forgot how to use it, it’s been packed away for a decade or so, that she prefers digital point and shoots now and so on. Well, I joked around about it – I didn’t know she was serious. But nonetheless, I sent her my address, thinking that since we’re friends, at least I won’t receive an IED at home. Maybe a few jars of Kimchi or a CD and poster of the delicious and scantily dressed Wondergirls. Whatever. I trust and know her enough anyways.
I didn’t pay much attention to it anyways, but she mentioned the Friday beforehand that she already fired away the package. Alright, I thought it would take two weeks to get here.
Unpacked and on the table was a trove that I could only dream of. The pretty much pristine Nikon FM2 body, and a Nikkor 50mm f1.4 prime. Haha I could use another 50mm, though this one has shorter range. The HS-9 metal hood, and a Starblitz flashgun. I peered through the viewfinder. Aside from some dust on the mirror, it’s alright. The lens works like a dream and still crystal clear, though there’s a spot inside that needs to be cleaned off. The hood is fine, and flash fires and works normally. I couldn’t believe it. Even if it just came in as a body, it was still a treasure. It’s an FM2 for cryin’ out loud. Actually it’s not just an FM2, but an FM2n. It made my day even better when I found the ‘N’ with the serial number.
Maybe you’re wondering why I’m so hyped about this and some of you who know me would argue I already have an analog SLR and a dSLR. Well, you try to look up the Nikon FM2 on Camerapedia.
~
This morning, a solar eclipse was scheduled to happen. Regions of China, India and Japan were supposed to be under totality. Other countries further down the globe, ours included would experience only a partial eclipse. Still a phenomenon worth seeing, with proper and needed protection of course. The maximum was scheduled at 0930 for Imperial Manila, and I hurried home. At around 0900, as I was about to cross over from SFS to Megamall, I caught a glimpse of the disc via the huge glass façade of the middle part of the mall, and it starting to lose some of the edge. It has began.
As luck would have it, I was still on the way. Gotta hurry. Near Shang, I thought it might already be starting to show the cool parts. But there was cloud cover. Scheisse!
It cleared a little near Shaw MRT, so I set up f16 [the best I can dial with the 50mm], and 1/4000 [the fastest MY FM2n can manage]. I fired two frames. Then I had a better view below the flyover. I fired another two frames. I hope they get developed. Then I got home a few minutes before 0930 but then there were some clouds again. I told my old man of the eclipse, so he went to find some photo film. I hurried inside and started up the S5, my only camera with enough zoom to get a decent sized picture of the disc. My old man came out with four x-ray films - of whose chest, we didn’t care. He held some up, and we all peered at it. It’s indeed happening, but we missed the maximum because of the clouds. I set the S5 at f8.0 [the smallest it has], ISO 80 and 1/1600 [the fastest it has on full manual]. I zoomed at 12x, and fired frame after frame. I zoomed again, this time to the end of the digital zoom. Fired more frames. I mounted the 100mm on my D40, and fired four frames. All the while, I shielded the cameras behind the films.
~
